22^nd Sunday in Ordinary Time “A”.   August 28, 2005.  Our Lady of Grace 7:30, 11:30, 6PM.   Jeremiah 20:2-9.  Romans 12: 1-2.  Matthew 16:21-27.

We all like to be flattered.  We all enjoy the approval of others.  Being with people who like us and support us makes us feel secure, important and effective.  Dealing with opposition and being unpopular is unpleasant for anyone.  It is human to want to be liked by the people around us.  Some people deal with disapproval very gracefully and hold their own, even though they don’t like conflict or opposition.  Other people are totally paralyzed by opposition because they need constant approval and affirmation from everyone they meet in order to survive.  It is not only politicians that walk around with their finger in the air trying to figure out where the wind of popular opinion is blowing, parents want to be liked by their children.  One of the hardest things for a parents to hear from a child is “I don’t like you.”   I heard a father tell his son once, “I am not being paid for you to like me.  I’m being paid to be your dad, even when you don’t like it.”  Peer pressure can cause great pain among teenagers.  A question that every teen has to face on the way to adulthood is, “Could I survive and follow my conscience if my friends didn’t agree with me, or even if they stopped liking me?”

In last Sunday’s gospel Jesus asked his disciples, “Who do you think that I am?”  Peter spoke up immediately saying, “You are the long awaited Messiah.  You are the Son of the living God.”   It was like someone coming up to you or me and saying, “You are the most important person who has ever lived.  You are filled with the power of God.”   Peter flattered Jesus.  Peter offered Jesus the highest affirmation possible.   While what Peter said was certainly true, Jesus didn’t need to hold on to Peter’s flattery and he didn’t base his life on Peter’s praise.   In fact, Jesus had the personal authority and integrity to go on being himself with our without Peter’s approval.  After Peter’s profession of faith in Jesus as the Messiah, Jesus went on to talk about the fact that he would suffer and be put to death by the leaders of the people.  Peter had the inside track with Jesus so he took Jesus aside and said to him, “God forbid, Lord! No such thing will ever happen to you!”    Because Jesus didn’t need to keep Peter happy so that he would continue to enjoy Peter’s approval and flattery, Jesus spoke the truth to Peter. “Get behind me, Satan! You are an obstacle to me. You are thinking not as God does, but as human beings do.”

Friends are a great gift, but they do not always understand the truth or have our best interests in mind.   Children are a wonderful blessing, but they often do not see things with the maturity necessary to make good decisions.  We live in a democracy in which the majority elects our political leaders. Yet, no leader will lead well who constantly changes with the shifts in public opinion.  Jesus loved his friends and his followers, but he would not let them dictate to him the meaning of his life and his mission.  He wanted their support and their love at the same time that he could go forward even when he lacked their approval. Letting the approval of the people around us control our feelings about us and the decisions we make is very dangerous.  Tension between a parent and a teen may have more to do with changes inside of the teen and pressures in his or her life than with anything the parent is doing or saying.  Tension among neighbors may involve family problems or set backs in someone else’s home that we know nothing about.  I have long realized in my own ministry that an angry outburst from a parishioner may have more to do with their own anger and unresolved problems in their own life than with me. We never know why others approve or disapprove for sure. Letting the approval of others set the direction of our lives may involve trying to please people who are impossible to please.   

The Prophet Jeremiah had a deep love for both his people and for the Lord.  Far from winning him flattery and approval, his statements and actions led to him being mocked and whipped as a public condemnation and rebuke.   He said, “All the day I am an object of laughter; everyone mocks me… the word of the Lord has brought me derision and reproach all the day… I say to myself, I will not mention him; I will speak in his name no more.  But then it becomes like a fire burning in my heart, imprisoned in my bones; I grow weary holding it in, I cannot endure it.”

Jesus was publicly rejected by his people and nailed to a cross while the crowd jeered at him.  Where did his strength come from?  How could he go on when those around him no longer flattered him and approved of him?   How does a politician do what is right in spite of what many people are saying?  How do parents say what needs to be said even when a child threatens not to like them?  How does a teen continue to make good choices when their friends mock them for it?  We are all influenced by public opinion.  Often, we learn from what the people around us think.  Yet, each of us has a center of responsibility and maturity that guides us and gives us strength even when others disagree.  What did Jesus do to avoid being controlled by the approval of others?

• Jesus often spent the whole night in prayer. He made sure that he was in touch with his own soul and with God by listening to God and his own soul very carefully in prayer.
• Jesus grew constantly in his knowledge of the will of God and he relied on his knowledge of God’s will to guide him even when others disagreed.
•  Jesus had an ever growing sense of who he was.  He heard the word of God in his heart, “You are my beloved Son.  In you I am well pleased.”  Jesus relied on his own inner wisdom and strength to guide him even when others disagreed. 

If we are addicted to the approval of others we will be pulled in a thousand different directions and our need for approval will destroy our peace.  The Apostle Paul shows us the way to peace and joy in our second reading.  He says, “Do not conform yourselves to this age, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and pleasing and perfect.”  For the grace to live our faith even when others do not approve, we give God thanks and praise.