Advent 4 A.  December 19, 2010.  Our Lady of Grace 5:15, 9:30, 6PM.  Isaiah 7:10-14.  Romans 1:1-7. Matthew 1:18-24.

Several years ago I was at the bedside of young father who was dying.  He was having a very had time talking and his eleven year old daughter kept filling in words for him and finishing his sentences.  He would always nod in agreement as his daughter helped him say what he wanted to say.  After this went on for a while I said to the father, “You are very lucky man to have a daughter who is who is so much like you. She seems to know everything that you are thinking and feeling.”   The father’s eyes filled with tears as he took my hand and said, “That is the nicest thing that anyone has ever said about me and my daughter.  You see, she is adopted and she is not really my daughter – but she is very much like me anyway and I am very proud that she is truly my daughter.”

Most of us tell the Christmas story from Mary’s point of view.  An angel appeared to Mary and told her that she was going to have a baby who would be the promised Messiah.  She would remain a virgin and the child would be the son of God by the power of the Holy Spirit.  That seems to minimize Joseph’s role to almost nothing because he did not have a biological relationship with the child. While biology is important for both mothers and fathers, being good and effective parents involves much more than genes, chromosomes and biology. Matthew tells the story of the birth of Jesus from Joseph’s point of view even though Joseph is not the biological father of Jesus.  The naming of a Jewish child is a profound spiritual moment. Jewish teachers say that naming a baby is a statement of his or her character, specialness, and path in life.   The angel said to Joseph, “Do not be afraid to take Mary your wife into your home.  For it is through the Holy Spirit that this child has been conceived in her.  She will bear a son and YOU are to name him Jesus because he will save his people form their sins.”

Joseph gives Jesus is name.  Joseph gives Jesus his home and his family tradition.  Jesus was known as son of the carpenter Joseph, and because Joseph belonged to the family of King David, Jesus was born in Bethlehem, the city of David.  Every boy grows up in the shadow of his father. Whether a father talks a lot or says little, a child is shaped by his father’s example.  The Bible contains not a single word spoken by Joseph.  It is a good thing to have a father who teaches strength and courage and morality with his words.  It is a far better thing to have a father who teaches goodness and holiness with his actions.  The Bible presents Joseph as a man of deep compassion.  Even when his was humiliated and apparently sinned against by Mary’s unexpected pregnancy, he thought of her first and didn’t want to publicly humiliate her even though it seemed that she was publicly humiliating him.  How many of us men would think about the women in our lives first when they have embarrassed us?   Jesus defended the woman who was caught in the very act of adultery when others wanted to stone her to death.  I suspect that Jesus learned his great sensitivity to women from Joseph, the father in the house in which he grew up.

Joseph responded to the God’s request that he take a pregnant woman as his wife without question.  He was a man who responded immediately to what he saw as the will of God.  On the night before he was crucified Jesus prayed, “Father, not my will but your will be done.”  I suspect that Jesus’ profound respect for the will of God in his life was deeply rooted in the example of Joseph, the father in his home.

Joseph fled to Egypt to save Mary and Jesus from the hatred of King Herod.  I suspect that Jesus learned to defend the needy and the poor at home as a child, from a father who was the protector of family life no matter what it cost him. 

 We live in a world in which fathers are immensely important and often absent. Some men become biological fathers and then take off, others are just too busy.  Jesus had a sinless mother.  At the same time he needed a virtuous, present and active father.

Every boy needs to learn about the true meaning of manhood not only from his mother, but also from the active, strong and virtuous presence of his father or other important father figures in his life.

Every girl needs a loving and active father in her life to help her succeed in what used to be a man’s world.  Many successful women owe much to loving fathers or other significant male figures who took an active interest in them, helping them to be both successful and feminine in bringing needed new values to public life.

St. Joseph challenges us to recognize that fatherhood is about much, much more than biology.  Good fathers and good men are crucial in renewing and building the society in which we live.  For St. Joseph and the true gift of manhood and fatherhood in our midst we give God thanks and praise.