Roadblocks to Communication

Listen with the ear of your heart.
— The Rule of Benedict

Put down messages—belittling, ridiculing, disapproving

  • You shouldn’t feel that way
  • You have some strange ideas
  • You must be kidding


When that happened to me I handled it by....

Judging, criticizing, blaming

  • I can’t believe that
  • You might not be having these problems now if you had...

Preaching, moralizing

  • It’s for your own good
  • There’s more fish in the sea

Diverting, avoiding, changing the subject

  • Forget it
  • That reminds me...


  • Let’s not discuss that any longer
  • I have to leave now, I can’t take this conversation


  • You couldn’t have done that
  • You don’t really mean that


  • That person has an excellent reputation
  • But that doctor is very competent